I Will Never Leave You

I Will Never Leave You

Often in our life we deal with struggles that holding our breath so tight. Giving up seems the best easy way out. How do we hold the promise of Him telling us, ” I will never leave you nor forsake you”? It was exciting when I received a  job offer to start a new life in Portugal as initially planned. However, things get out of control during the first few months.

Life happens……
  1. The tenant who were renting my property in Malaysia didn’pay rentals for months and my agency wasn’t responsible at all. Hence, this caused me fell with critical financial situation.
  2. University in Spain where I took my master course caused another unexpected fees and getting trouble to fulfill my credits. Most of my classmates dealing with all kind of mistakes too.
  3. Process of my work visa was a disaster that makes me worried that I would banned to re-enter the country in future once I left.
  4. My car in my hometown was stolen and it’s another complicating process that I need to deal with the insurance company.
  5. I have not meet any of my friends or family in Malaysia for a year and I was asked to extend few months stay by the company. With all the stress, the homesick feeling is even more.
In the storm……

Due to the visa expiry issue and no document obtained from the government body, I went back to Malaysia two months earlier than expected.  I supposed to feel happy but I wasn’t because there’s a mountain high of issues waiting for me to deal.  Most of my friends started to invite me for meals and gathering but I wasn’t ready to meet anybody with such a down spirit of life.

During my return to the home country, I was constantly dealing with my house issues and the amount of debts from the tenant cost ALL my savings to recover the damages. I had to restart the visa application process from the beginning in Bangkok, Thailand as Malaysia doesn’t have Portugal embassy. Then I would have to get the car insurance process to take place again while preparing Chinese New Year. At the same time, I was still working from home with an up-coming project back in Portugal.

The whole situation had struck me down completely that I was angry at God and would want to tear my Bible into pieces. The exhausted emotion has taken over me completely. If any of my friends try to encourage me the Christian way, I shut my ear off and refused to hear any words. Because being a born Christian, I know all these Biblical “theory” very well. I felt God is being cruel to me. God is being so unfair to me again and again. This is the time I will not believe in Him anymore. All I had is a hopeless life. I felt the enemy has defeated me completely.

Be Still……

From the first Sunday service I was attending back then, the same verse came to me from different time, different people, different pastors, different ways. — “I will never leave you nor forsake you!”

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6

He did promised us that, ” I will never leave you nor forsake you!”. At that two months time, He is trying to pursue me and win me back again. Again…… and again…….

Healing & Recovery……

My faith didn’t recover sooner as this approached to me. I let myself grieved sometime while going through the valley. It took me few months to open myself and allowed God to heal me. If we need time to stay longer in that valley before we can start to climb up again, just stay! There is no hurry of God rushing us to pass through the dark valley. When we had grieved enough, we will know it’s time to get up. He promised us He will walk with us and will lift us up again.

Do not lost faith during the down spirit time which I almost did. The enemy was close enough to win the battle. To recover, I must believe God is still the one to trust. Deep in my heart I know very well, my situation could be worse without believing in God. And I know, there is no way I could get up again without Him. Never lost your faith for the faithful God has promised us, ” I will never leave you nor forsake you!”

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